This story starts about three weeks ago when I was informed the new management at my apartment complex decided to be cheap bastards and not renew their contracts with Comcast for the basic cable that was included with rent. Fantastic, Superb, Awesome...three words that would NOT describe this situation. Three phone calls to Comcast later it was decided I needed to return my DVR. Which brings me to today.
I went down to the Comcast office at 9:30 thinking it wouldn't be busy since they open at 9, boy was I wrong! It wasn't bad, not like at the Beaverton store, but there were about 15 people ahead of me. Two employees were working the window, and one was trying to look like she was working but was actually doing a lot of nothing, until Apple man came in. I call him Apple man because he smelled faintly of sour green apples and stale cigarettes. I actually looked around for an apple scented air freshener when he sat down, and when I saw none, realized it was him! He walks in, takes his ticket and proceeds to give Deborah (the lady pretending to work) crap about not working while everyone is waiting. She scowls and starts activly trying to pretend she is working at this point. He keeps razzing her about it, all the while calling her Debby and apologizing and switching back to Deborah. I was a little confused. I can understand being a regular at a restaurant, a bar, or a salon/barbur, but the Comcast office?!?!?! What on earth could an old, weathered, wrinkly, somewhat senile man need on such a regular basis at the Comcast office that he not only knows the employee's names but also knows about Deborah's husband buying her a new diamond ring?! I was actually kind of amazed by this man! Either he makes friends fast, or has nothing better to do all day than hang out at Comcast and harass the employees!
Ok, so of all the places to sit in the office Apple man decides to sit next to me. That is until his buddy comes in and he offers him his seat. This guy knows EVERYONE!!! After a ten minute conversation between the two where Apple man tries to convince his buddy to take him downtown with no luck, they then turn their attention to me. I had been trying to sit as still as possible with a "screw the world" look on my face to avoid this happening, but apparently my "screw the world" look is more of a "hey creepy dudes! Come talk to me!" look! After asking what my number is they spent the last ten minutes before I would be called to the window arguing about where I was in line and who was before me. I was able to tune them out, only because something else more interesting walked in.
Picture this...French manicured acrylic nails, shoulder length perfeclty done and colored hair, makeup done with accuracy and well, and then you look down. SWEATS!!! NAVY BLUE MEN'S SWEATS!!!!! WHY? Why put all of that time and energy into your appearance only to throw on some stained, torn and about three sizes too small sweats? It isn't the first time I have seen something like this, afterall I do live in SE Portland, but everytime I do I am so dissapointed!!!
My turn finally came and I wandered up to the desk. Two creepy guys still arguing about who was right. The Comcast lady looked at me like she felt sorry for me having to sit next to them and I laughed. I was so glad to get out of there and back to the safety of my own car, my own music, and being able to see the crazies from a safe distance. To top it all off I saw a man riding a unicycle on the way home! Not a completly odd thing to see in Portland, but what made me appreciate the goofyness of it was his serious bike gear. Bike shorts, wind resistant bike racing shirt, and riding gloves. Tell me one thing Mr. Unicycle man. Why the hell do you need gloves if your bike has no handle bars?!
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