Until this year I thought I knew what it meant to trust someone, I sure as hell knew what it meant not to!! To me, trust always felt like an ultimatum, you either trust someone or you don't...no grey area. Once that trust deviates from it's pattern of perfection it blows up like a firecracker on the 4th of July. Well, surprise surprise, I was wrong!! I know, it doesn't happen often!
It's amazing what you learn not only from your own life, but watching your friends as well...
We all have a basic level of trust or distrust with everyone we interact with. It is something we immediatly make a judgement call on, call it a gut feeling if you will. The words and actions of that person after that initial judgement is what either strengthens or weakens that level of trust, wherever it may have started and would usually look like a string of spaghetti splattered on the wall if you were to graph it since it is always changing. Now here is where the crazy revelation happens!! It is not in continued trust of someone else that ultimate, no one can come between you, nothing will change your mind, this thing is as solid as grandma's fruitcake, kind of trust is built. No!!! It is in the moments of doubt, frustration, and eventually resolution that ultimate trust for another person is formed. You cannot truely trust someone with all of your heart until they break it (it being trust, not your heart. If someone breaks your heart I give you permission to break them!).
Ok, I just re read that last statement and by now I am sure you think I am a nut job, but it is true. (Obviously I am speaking of things that can be resolved, things that aren't deal breakers or earth shattering events, which is different for everyone.) Just think about it for a minute. It is not in the initial break of that bond of trust that this happens. It is in the resolution. It is in the emotions both parties go through. It is in the sense of accomplishment and closeness that happens after all is said and done. That journey, if taken correctly, takes you down a path of understanding for not only the other person, but of yourself. It kind of in a way tests you and how willing you are to open up to someone else and how willing you are to challenge them to be a better person which in turn makes you challenge yourself as well. Those moments, however long they last, are what build the bonds of trust more so than a perfect little life where everything always goes wonderfully, you always have a great hair day, the dog never pees on the carpet and it is all fenced in by a white pickett fence. Thank God we are not all perfect!!! Life would be soooo boring, but at least we would all have fabulous hair!
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